Shades of Abuse

Photo by Xavier Sotomayor on Unsplash


In a recent interview, a retired minister told me that you should always look at the history of a place before you go there for a job. Find out who has been there before, how long they stayed, why they left and how it was for them while they were there, especially before you go there to work alone.


She was talking about being a minister to a church congregation, as she’d been abused by one for years, but other jobs can be just as isolating. Depending upon your supervisor and your colleagues, you may not be part of a good, functional team.


Relationships are two-way streets, and the employer/employee relationship is no different. When we accept a job, any job, that position necessarily makes demands on our time and attention. Make sure that those demands are realistic, worthwhile, and healthy. And be sure you are comfortable beforehand.


Ask questions: Does the company treat their employees well? Do they give benefits or overtime? How do they deal with employee crises: illness, death, family issues, pregnancy, etc. Knowing how they treat those who are disabled, LGBTQ, or suffering from substance abuse can bring an awareness of how they accept others. Do you sense some bullying? Some flirting? How about birth control? Is this a private personal issue or a company policy? Are you comfortable with your or anyone’s health concerns being their concerns? Do your homework and take the warnings to heart.